Construction War Zone

1.
hard hat
gun war
Great Depression
old
grandfather

he went to war
he was a driver
he smoked Three
Kings tobacco
roll-your-owns

his hands built his own castle
memories of old England

many nails
red paint
strong stiff upper lip
hard
times

his lips would bleed
every time he ate
an ice-block

/

this battleship grey nail head
reminds me of a war helmet

2.

hard hat
nail gun
Global Recession
young
husband

he lived on a farm
in the King Country
he drank Waikato
with his mates
& Willie

his hands built his own house
with number eight wire & fence posts

many nails
green paint
strong stiff upper lip
hard
times

his feet are sore
from walking around
in steel-capped boots all day

/

this construction site
is kind of like a mine field

© Copyright 2010 Jodine Derena Butler.  All Rights Reserved

Behind My Apron Strings

Death by Cigarette

1.

“By God it’s good to see family when you’re sick!”, he beamed
arms o u t s t r e t c h e d, averted
teary eyes near
over
flowing

He really must be dying
I feel bad for him
& Him

who feels worse?
wounds are open now
exposed
affection weeping years

suppression/repression/aggression

he shys away from him
behind: behind my apron
strings
pull him toward me
I lean forward: toward
Him

too soon for hymns
but not too late

/

is this what it feels like to die?
to soften for once in your life?

2.

Do I have to wait
that long before I see
the next generation cry
before I
find something to be defensive about?

a fathers legacy

He feels sorry sad
& scared
I follow his every move
I watch Him from behind
corners

He has a lot to answer
He doesn’t know how to feel
the loss
not knowing; the baby
wanting hugs
finding joy in the smallest of things

He will be gone soon

Thy Will Be Done
& life
Will

/

He is not my father
he is my grieving lover
I shake their tears loose

© Copyright 2007 Jodine Derena Butler.  All Rights Reserved