Cyberus & the Ramblings of a Mad Woman

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Isolation Desolation

i


Cyberus the black dog, creeps in under Mary’s skin, licking his lips, penetrating her holes, gnawing away at her sinewy tendons and succulent bones.

He rapes her subconscious crawl space, probing his wet nose into her closet crotch, sniffing out the buried remains there like Cujo; gnarled lips, protruding tongue and crazed eye stare.

Mary pricks her ears, Cyberus howls at the April blood moon, his mourn calling her out from behind her silvery veil, behind her mindful interludes – moonbeams bleed crimson and red rivers pour from her nightmares blurring the edges of her days.

Cyberus spreads his malaise like a disease.

He infiltrates cavities and grey matter mimicking the ebb and flow of tides; dopamine highs and serotonin lows, squalls hovering on the horizon – the ramblings of a mad woman batting her eye lashes, baring her sharp teeth.

ii

Mary flatter’s her fans upright for .50c an hour to satisfy Cyberus’ insatiable appetite, gulping down terabytes like an insomniac slip streaming strip scenes and Mary rubs herself raw, learning how to love the hands that feed her.

The water slides off her duck downed back, down valleys and cracks her bareback fingertips squeezing every last drip from her drops.

Mary turns off the shower, wipes away the steam from the window and peers outside. Two stray dogs have escaped lockdown, causing havoc on the streets.

She would take them both in and give them a good feed, if she had a backyard big enough to bury bones.

iii

Tom stands outside on the pavement, peers up at the window, his threadbare trenchcoat just as superfluous as his empty pockets, except for the cornerstone content bulge. He watches Mary’s jailbird swagger dance and sway behind a steam curtain.

iv

Cyberus can feel her skin crawl, he allows himself to rise – settling in between her mind and the blurred edges of breasts, buttocks and inner thighs.

Infared penetrating his night vision.

© Copyright 2020, Poetry Out West, Jodine Derena Butler Files. All rights reserved

The Bell Jar of Mixed Blessings

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If it’s not the bloody buzzing mozzies, it’s a bell jar of mixed blessings and a monologue of nothing but geese!

Voices resounding, reimagining, conjuring up memories about red shoes and dwarves and something out of Aesopica!

This totally ridiculous,

unwanted attention seeking behaviour burns my eyes, while my jaw grinds like carpet burn and my ears ache.

If I have to bite the bullet – I need to do it by 9pm and knock it back with a big shot of poison!

I’m not up for this kind of angst, destined to play and replay on repeat. I already made peace a priority but where is she now?

(Sylvia is waiting in line for electroconvulsive therapy, just to wipe the slate clean; clear the air so-to-speak).

That’s the truth of the matter!

Finding my own voice and lifting the skullcap off Pandora’s Box, just enough to breathe.
© Copyright 2019, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved

Lilith & the Incubus

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Photographer: Ange Harper

Here we go again
for those of you sick
of this shit – Karma

Happiness, eludes me
over-analyzing everything
searching for that choice to make

Looking to purpose choose life
simplicity a complex solution
blind, numb, lost & forgotten

My brain hard-wired my eyes shut
Persistent Depressive Disorder
convincingly sees only what was

Nothing gets any better
I’ve never known anything different
happiness is Far Far Away, folklore

Farther apart I age, no wiser
life flashes before my eyes, wasted
it’s a miracle I have survived thus far

I may as well be dead
it’s like I’m dead
I feel dead

Burdons not just my own; contagion
leaching into every soul I touch
Incubus fornicate in my sleeplessness

Pervasive nightmares & thoughts
leave little light – my aura
hedonism postulating pleasure

Shit shows on at 4am

Doom & disaster, spiritituality
leper colonies shun; shamed
beyond toxicity

I am cursed
so is everyone in it
locked up for my own safety

Where is Lilith?

© Copyright 2015, Jodine Derena Butler.  All Rights Reserved

REBLOGGED: By Art of Drem, 2015

Hearts & Minds (Insomnia Series)

autonomic irregularities skip
& flutter in awkward abeyance
of the heart.

conflicts of reason. para-
sympathetic meltdown’s.
expose flawed synaptic gaps.

conjoined minds, like wind chimes
this night. a metallic taste
signalling rain. a flood of memories

like elephants. unwilling to bend
divided now, patronisation
mindful of Godhead & self.

armed & dangerous
hormones the rag. emotional deprivation is ironic, lonely

a contradiction in terms;
cut off flowers in one room apartments,
sensory overload. hung drawn & quartered.

acceptance is no love lost. self
respect is also learned behaviour. I am myself, in all of her.

mobile phones out of range,
search for meaning & purpose.
meaning & purpose.

meaning & purpose.
hearts & minds they say,
fade away

© 2009 Jodine Derena Butler.  All Rights Reserved

Incubus & the Nymph 

Incubus circle
in delayed formation
my nymph
debilitated and abandoned now
satiety a vestige
of reckless abandonment
elsewhere
pledged allegiances suffer
stuffed down the gullets
of imploding rivers
seething Red
in distaste
indecent proposals are
swallowed whole,
recalcitrant yearnings
succumb to the dirge
mountains begin to crumble
the ingratiate turns
her back, again
rock and debris fall
on deaf ears
on deaf ears, my
dwindling reserves
purge the last of my resolve

© 2009 Jodine Derena Butler.  All Rights Reserved

Sheep and Mosquitos 

Sheep follow
one, after the other
two, blind to see
the fence was an imaginary
escape route to nowhere

in particular –

juxtaposed with mosquito
banter on migration to a
carbon dioxide induced
acid trip

A palpable end
to an otherwise
paltry existance
for those not otherwise
engaged in slumber.

Blind and blood thirsty,
rhetoric is
not lost – who pulls
the shrouded woollen
scarf across their eye’s?

Semi clothed in
parachutes, attired
belligerence and
artificial libido,
comfort wrapped

as if –

fences don’t exist.
Premature collisions
run roughshod
over ruminating
premarital cliffs

sheep follow
one, after the other,
the blind leading the blind
relentless in pursuit
of happiness

a pantomime of
mosquitos dance,
while I endure
a never ending
kaleidoscope of noise

© 2009 Jodine Derena Butler.  All Rights Reserved

Sycophantic Juggernaut 

back to back
fused spinal columns
an unorthodox
paradigm
shift(ing)

displaced jaw
a grind of bones
and teeth
(re) fused
together unyielding

Orion’s milky
sheets
starched stiff
clean in
crinkled embraces

an excuse
unconsciously
ironed flat
a greasy haired
yellow pout

a tight lipped
sycophantic
juggernaut
imploding
premature breath

quashed embers
flaming
subservience
married and
ugly

buried where
whores and
die
pass judgement
and skeleton keys

jingle

© 2009 Jodine Derena Butler. All Rights Reserved

First Published, Live Lines, volume 4, Anthology, 2011,  ISBN: 11787767, Poetry Live, http://www.poetrylive.co.nz/live-lines.html