Judas tosses my skin dough
kneading
Spread too thin
Wood fire burnt, ends
Encrusted mounds & blisters
Slough
fall
Tears another hole &
I become a meal;
A tv dinner deal.
At the last supper, Mary
Sings a hymn &
All the Angel’s
rejoice!
My veil lifted drifts
Chewed fingertips boxed in
Swallowed whole, followed by
An after-dinner mint & toothpick.
But what I really need is a good
stretch.
© Copyright 2022, Poetry Out West, Jodine Derena Butler. All rights reserved
The doorbell rings one point five metres away.
Jack, steps back and waits, his head bowed in deference. A shudder circulates through his body and returns to his groin where his pathetic little worm jerks awake momentarily before it retreats, almost disappearing.
Domina, hazmat suit fitted, respirator adjusted and hands fully gloved, makes one final survey of her apartment noting everything in it’s rightful place before opening the door.
‘I see you followed my directions correctly, eventually’, she quipped.
‘Place your shoes in the bucket and strip’.
Her deadpan face and hardened stare conveying a don’t-fuck-with-me stance.
Domina’s new fetish was playing out like a Hunger Games episode: full lockdown, curfew and quarantine rules apply.
‘Follow me’, she commanded, leading the way to the bathroom.
‘Shower, put on the hazmat suit and mask and come into my den’.
Jack does as he is told, noticing the hairs on his arms and neck bristle and shrink back as the icy air-conditioning slaps his skin.
He’d been fantasizing about this day, ever since the first wave of Coronavirus (Corvid 19) swept across Europe, with Italy almost decimated in it’s wake.
It reminded him of his mortality, the beck and whim of governments and George Orwell’s 1984 dystopian nightmare coming into fruition. It made him feel alive, on the contrary, gave him a reason to live out his last days letting go of the old ways, going out on his terms.
Domina was a survivor. Gone were the days of luxurious 24 hour bookings, champagne and wads of cash. It was adapt or die slowly in her isolation, knowing her body wouldn’t be found for weeks.
These were the days of demeaning quickies and blow n’ go’s for a fraction of the price and the odd apocalypse fantasy that gave her just enough extra to remember how she once felt secure. Now, she controlled her working environment to suit and insisted on safety protocol.
Jack looked at himself in the mirror, putting on his mask. He was reduced to an anonymous automaton. Nameless, faceless and nothing more than a number in a system designed to suck every last drop of humanity from his wretched soul, if he even had one. A nobody. A pitiful excuse for a human being. He wanted to feel the humiliation of his meaningless existence played out one last excruciating time.
Domina watched her pain slut enter and ordered him to get on all fours on the bed. She picked up a 1 metre length of flexible plastic pipe and gave him six of the best in quick, hard succession.
/ / / / / /
Jack felt the weight of the whole world reign down. Searing pain shot through him and waves rippled along the length of his flacid cock awakening from it’s morbid slumber to stand at attention. It was all he could do to stop from crying out.
Jack knew he would fail, miserably and so did she.
© Copyright 2020, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
Nefertiti has her father’s eyes: blue grey, round and slightly protruding but entirely captivating. The all-seeing eye of Horus and Crow’s feet compliment her aesthetic smile by design. She enters the chamber, swathed in flowing layers of ivory silk adorned with lapis lazuli, onyx and handcrafted strands of golden pearls.
Akhenaten sinks low. Robe, legs and heart open admiring her curves, her sweet sway – ripe fruit seducing his eyes and craven appetite with every languid step.
Nefertiti slides in between. Akhenatens’ serpentine manhood rears, her narcissis skin soothsayer hips, drape and he slips, thrusts and bursts! She lifts, slides and rides his chariots rhythm, beaming through Ra’s realm and back again into her self, sated.
Amarna steps aside, hides behind a sandstone pillar. Stealing moments, she watches the lovers embrace, arch and peek.
She notices the tingles first, then a soft thudding throb that intensifies with every passing moment. A gasp! An electric spasm shooting upward from her liquid apex, filling her with euphoria. She quickly muffles her mouth, burying her face in her hands and shrinks back into the shadows.
Nefertiti pricks her ears and looks over her shoulder, peering back into the chamber. Akhenaten raises up on his elbows and follows her gaze, glimpsing a wisp as it pulls back out of sight.
‘Step into the light’, he commands, lifting Nefertiti from his rod, setting her aside.
‘Come forward slave’, calls Nefertiti, beckoning the shadow from the dark.
Amarna bows her head in an odd mixture of shame and excitement, tepidly stepping a toe out from behind the scene, testing her courage with fright, flushed cheeks betraying her desire.
Moving forward, she stands deferred waiting for her next command, allowing her hot wetness and damp musk scent to allay her senses.
Nefertiti glares. Akhenaten stares, his mouth parting at the recognition of his newest and most beautiful sacred qedesha. He leans into Nefertiti and whispers Amarna’s name, betraying his lust. She turns, spurned then reads Akhenatens desire, rekindling her own.
‘You have come to join us unannounced Amarna’?, Nefertiti leads. ‘What have you to offer your King and Queen that we have not taken before?’
‘Ripe fruit, my Queen, and moist Basbousa’…
To be continued…
© Copyright 2020, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
I see right through everything you try to impress upon me.
My nose is already cut/off, my mask forever cast into the pantomime of the dead.
When I rise,
I won’t need you.
∆
There are no wallflowers here,
just silent observers casing the joint.
My grandfather’s spyglass has a cracked lens — one of those monocled, steampunky brass edged gems that’s uncoordinated at best but it serves more than a purpose.
Without you, I fade into the background.
∆
I am like a mage.
I draw you in, but you beckon me out from behind my crystal pillars dangling wads of money and a job offer that’s on hold.
I come baring more than just my breasts,
I am yours.
∆
Till the thrill is gone.
I am in danger of succumbing to my own spell, rebounding long before
I am discarded,
when you’ve already moved on to Nightingales and page three nostalgia, my unnatural incantations losing their spark along the way.
Still, you make me question where I belong.
∆
I stand in the orange sunset smoking a durry on my balcony, looking down from my lofty thoughts.
My high society, contemptible self-loathing boldly framing my red-hinged double revolving doors that would swing wider — if it weren’t for the sunstrike that has me
blind.
∆
A spectral shade
of surreal light,
trapped by my own
shadowban.
∆
I see right through everything you try to impress upon me.
My nose is already cut/off, my mask forever cast into the pantomime of the dead.
When I rise,
I won’t need you.
© Copyright 2020, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
1.
Am I a feminist?
I make the fantasy real for him, giving up parts of myself –
My look
My mind
My body
My heart.
Pieces of me, served up over silver platitudes,
three course meals
and French champagne.
2.
Malleable breasts and tight buttocks
reclaim their complimentary one half of the whole
reality
filling holes in Psyche every time she is alone.
Separate and connected,
happy and unremarkable
half truths, open to anyone who will listen.
3.
In her deepest recesses, she is compartmentalised – a waif, aloof.
Dissociation
learned to leave a long time ago, doing only what they wanted to make them happier
for the two of us.
A tragedy, waiting for a fairy tale ending that doesn’t involve
the death of Eros.
Instead she paints pictures that never quite get finished –
My pencils
My paints
My inks
My pastel chalks
covered in charcoal dust fingerprints,
scared of letting go.
4.
She still held on
to dreams
of Volkswagon beetles,
Austin land crabs,
Holden utes and XD Falcon
panel van’s reinforced with 6ml steel plates
pink stickered on the side of the road.
5.
I say goodbye to all the abusers –
My family
My friends
My lovers
My colleagues.
Self care now cloistered in her abandon while you watch,
published one day by some back shed press, captioned
‘Clichèd-Poet-Ends-It-All’
because forfeiture has no shame.
She was happier then
and then she died,
turning grey like her foibles and colourless lines.
6.
Am I a feminist?
© Copyright 2019, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
Clock app, I chime well.
The sheets are slithery crevices
Satin-lined, with serpent tongue poised to strike,
It is a meeting of the soul,
A shaft of light
Through cathedrals of stained glass.
Where you are safe,
Where there are no family heirlooms,
No dinner on the table, no lies.
Suave virile hips, the smirk of men
Glaze at her smoke
And I, in my honeyed plume,
Milk a gallon of amphibian seed.
To release
The roar of angst I swallow toads ~
Meat and three vege, a staple,
The ‘Elixir of Life’.
My mouth gags,
The mouth of Mary
When my accelerator touches the pan.
The giggle of my
Plastic features, my way of arching
Johns to rigors of trapeze
Lays on the charm, a gasp.
And it goes on and on, and on.
I shall remain a nymph. Old muscles
Strain like a bough and I
Blush like Betty Boop
Satisfied,
All the sighs of winter, fall
Offering up last seasons rosella
Tea to read.
© Copyright 2019, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
Appropriated from Sylvia Plath’s ‘Gigolo’, 29 January 1963, Collected Poems, 1981
Jamie Fraser.
The highlander of my wet dreams &
the epitome of Scottish manhood – the rise
of the Jacobite & the battle of Colloden,
ending it all.
/
That fiery red head fuels my desire, transporting me to Lallybroch.
I am the Lady Broch Tuarach arching her thawed back,
purring like a cat; her cream licked to perfection.
Jealous.
Her secret coveted, breathing pure unadulterated sex.
I stretch back and close my eyes, snatch
images of her glory box at the foot of my bed
replaying soundbytes,
over
and over,
running my fingers through locks,
strumming a frantic tune,
finding their way through crevices & folds; my highland landscape.
Such pleasure!
Tartan wool & kilt,
an 18th century romp & a battle for the heart.
/
But as always, English tyranny is never far from the scene.
Too many #Metoo moments and brutality stops everything in its tracks.
© Copyright 2018, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
I love you.
I love that you’re mine.
I love the way you light up a room with your presence and my heart.
I love the way you joyously cook for me and our friends; laughter combusting into spontaneous abundance.
I love the way you laugh and giggle and play the fool, running around the room screaming like a freaking fruit, with Snoop.
I love that you do your best with everything and everyone, everytime.
I love that your heart only wants to do good and focus on the future.
I love how you think positively about all of our obstacles and we work together to solve them.
I love your resilience and strength of character, even when times get tough – you find a way.
I love the way your face lights up when you plan a party, design a flyer and work the promo.
I love the way you DJ – making me and everybody dance, with huge smiles on our dials.
I love to see you in your costumes and watch you come alive.
I love seeing the happiness on your face when you achieve the almost impossible, frequently.
I love watching your facial expressions and that passionate rocking and rolling you do on your chair, punching your hands in the air, to your favourite songs.
I love the way you make me feel, holding my hand and casually putting your arm around me, no matter where we are.
I love how you give me a wake-me-up-call most mornings, and I feel your desire pressing against me.
I love the way you slip, and fall between my legs with that naughty, cheeky giggle.
I love the way you whisper in my ear and tell me I’m sexy and beautiful and how much you want me.
I love it when you kiss me for no reason.
I love your sexy swagger and smouldering eyes.
I love the way you make me Chai in the mornings, and/or a cigarette and we slowly wake up together.
I love watching you shine.
*
On any given day, you give yourself to me in all your authenticity, with love.
You are the most awesome, amazing, talented, sexy, loveable man I have ever had the pleasure to meet and call mine.
I dont know how long I’ve got you for, but the romantic in me hope’s you put a hippie ring on it and we mooch on into the future, forever.
© Copyright 2018, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
I leave the room for one second
and I come back to see your cock slamming into her.
You definitely weren’t thinking about me. Selfish, greedy pig!
To make things worse.
You defended her feeble excuses, tried to twist it around and make it my fault, then you left – with her.
Somehow I’m a user. A psychopath with no friends? Go figure.
You were such a disappointment. Still are.
I see your cock inside her, thrusting hard and I can’t bare to touch you or trust.
Betrayal was never a part of us or what we had. ‘I hope you’re happy now’, was another thing you said.
It’s a waiting game from here on in, till we say goodbye and start again.
It was over before it began really. I knew deep down already, you were just too good to be true. Part of me kept hoping but it’s too late for me now.
I’ll do all my grieving before we say goodbye, so I dont have to think about you then. It won’t be pleasant either, but I’ll take what I can get.
I’ll still wish you the best but I’ll never go there again.
© Copyright 2018, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
It’s a hard-wired
ephemeral life
I lead.
Half of me yearning.
Half of me mourning.
Desire
for a quick death,
overcome by the
monotonous grind;
clandestine,
dragging
it’s heels inching
forever forward
toward an unremarkable
destination.
Except for
that constant ache.
A low throb
moan between my
legs,
rising up & into
my belly, disturbing
the dying butterflies
there.
Oh to be blindfolded!
Black out spread eagled,
all solidified reminders
teased to know pleasure
for pleasures sake.
Played
like an object
of your imagination
& devoured
like a ripe peach.
I’m too old
for this shit!
Wanting
to just be loved.
No out-back
salt lakes to be found.
Slip streams
giving way
to an avalanche
in a classical black
& white silent movie.
It’s all too much
to take in,
the depravity
of age & of consent.
Too young, yet
too old to let
things slide.
Still, the tears come,
let loose
to chide & deride
my feminine critique;
that contemptible self
loathing that likes
to sink her
teeth in.
Heart
broken,
wanting for nothing
but life’s
simple pleasures
to sweep her
off her feet —
lead her into
an ecstasy of wanton
abandonment
for just one moment,
to still the voices
& discard reality.
© Copyright 2018, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
1.
I get a wee bit naughty when I’m high.
2.
Everything is beautiful.
Stars take on a new kind of beauty, forming celestial matrices I marvel at,
peak my existence.
Music tango’s a discourse; ecstasy, sorcery, mischief & mayhem,
my mind’s eye pulsing in time to rhythmic sex, swirling into everything & everyone around me,
sensing freedom.
Sparks untangle in my psyche & I am forgiven my sins. I traverse the esoteric alchemy of my mind, body & soul, caressing everything alight in you
& nothing else matters.
3.
I’m turning into a tradie.
Either that or a hippie, except I refuse to stop using soap even when my nasal passages fail to deliver the final blow.
I love wearing perfume, Tuscany per Donna in particular (except I’m running out), a floral oriental with sweet, woody undertones that matches my mood.
I’ve never understood the mentality of ‘Eau de Naturale’ when everyone else has to pay through the nose.
I burn Sandalwood for peace when I’m pottering around my home making her pretty.
I look like a tradie though these days, complete with hi-vis shirt, hobnailed boots and fluro socks. No make up.
I’ve let my long hair, grey naturally like a witch; an interlude between lives only donned for that special occasion once in a blue moon, when I speak easy.
Perhaps a Dharma Bum or a tradie with hippie/witch tendencies? It doesn’t really matter – I scrub up ok.
4.
‘Mirrors, mirrors closing round
By my will you now are bound.
Whatever ill you seek to do
Reflected back six times on you’,
says She, the Witch.
© Copyright 2018, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
“Brown nosing is considered commentary, while deceit still lingers in gaslit ovens” JD Butler
People could learn to say what they mean, & mean what they say but
brown nosing is considered commentary, while deceit still lingers in gaslit ovens; no professionalism, integrity or due process.
Fraudulent essentially – powerful people full of egotistical self righteous bigotry, who really don’t give a fuck! Zealots who would suck off anything & lick the rim, just to play the press.
I’ve retired, & that doesnt give anyone the license to try to get their end away by throwing a ‘seemingly solid’ literary curve ball at me, that’s totally full of shit!
Honesty died with Bukowski & I wish I lived in America, because I know exactly where to buy a cheap gun
without any background checks.
© Copyright 2018, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
‘For her I shine’ by Daniel McLeod Photography
He came over today, the sexy fucker! It would have been nanoseconds if I had my way; his rooster waking me up at some ungodly hour, unlike the one next door that miraculously disappeared overnight
He’s surrounded by chicks with dicks for the most part & I love playing the diva swanning about in my skanky pants, proudly wearing my Madge of Honour
It’s only when I’m feeling omnipotent I become envious, allowing my Goddess to flaunt her divine masculinity strapped to her inner thighs, milking you for whatever it’s worth in my dreams
I think it’s only fair you get what you deserve, my milkshakes had all the boys in the yard, now she wants savoury pineapple smoothies sliding down around her knees, spitting seeds
So much for demure! I want lust & primal screams awakening my thwarted inner peace, transcendental om’s on my lips & you lost in oblivion
I’m a saucy bitch, quick witted enough to slap you down with a wildwoman grin, your eyes never waivering, once I bring you to life looking up from under lashes
You’re a sexy fucker & I love you more for being tied up in knots I need & stretch with ease, my magic hands working with pleasure
My demons are in awe of your presence; silenced except for my desire, stirring up more than delayed gratification
I want you to fuck me up more than anything! bring her down to your level, where I am anything but afraid & anything but the girl
© Copyright 2017, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
Photographer/Headpiece/Makeup by Andreas Boldt
You went back to the old ways, baby
let those speak for me, on their behalf
poisoning your mind and self
to bring you back home, tethered
to that place you’ve been trying to leave
you let them whisper in your ear,
sweet nothings to woo betrayal,
the only thing you trust
you’ve gone full circle
fear taking what was good for you
over love held in contempt,
lust luring you back again
already screwing you
now they’re trying to screw me
with phone calls, designer texts
intimidation sending me
into undercover, in disbelief
believing you have a hand in thuggery
you were so protective
of me, once family
willing to sell it all to the Devil you know
sending them all away
but they have your head in a vice
that false prophet Halo
surrounding you in darkness; checkmate,
stealing more than just Mary’s soul
you are weak, following
in your fathers footsteps
the one closest to you, the first
learned her place underfoot
her escape futile, her existance
cruel penance for that lost child
proving her guilt
she accepts her fate, now
that’s why she turns a blind eye
allowing your atrocious behaviour
to go unchecked – you raise your voice,
she see’s him in you and resigns
I have fallen by the way
learning to let go of my heart,
my mortality reminds me daily
that I am alone
I look forward to other things, now
bringing fulfillment here,
my father in his Twilight
where I can care for love
without risk, losing it all
the best part – his death
teaching me everything else
I need to know
/
one day, I hope
you sneak back into my bed,
just because you can and
we have an hour or two
to ourselves, like it was before
remembering our smell,
feeling our hearts open
loving each other well, adjusted
until the next time we say goodbye
and life goes on.
© Copyright 2016, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
I’m a whore.
A hooker for all
Intents & purposes
I fuck
Men, women or both
If they show me
Respect & pay my fee
How they treat
Me is how I screen;
They peep through key
Holes in my web,
Mobile phone or face
Book
Leave me clues
I peruse at my leisure.
On my unpaid time,
Weeding
Always pulling
Out roots & bare
Back, barking mad
Messages
Cutting into my family!
My family time
Intrigues you & yours –
Watching how we
Balance on that edge,
While I swing my leg
Over, hold on
Tight & tiptoe
Around the giant
Dildo in the room
But we do
Those Bill’s
Just don’t stop coming!
*
I work hard for the money
I work hard for family
I work hard
Pulling my weight where it counts
To make ends meet;
Reconciling differences
Underneath
I bleed red & my shit still
Stinks but that doesn’t make me
Invisible, unless you’re
Anti
Anti this, anti that
Why should it matter
What I do to support my
Self or my family?
I should ram my fist right up
Your arse, to my elbow
(I’d like to – bend you over) &
Piss all over your pride & prejudice!
Your mind is already made up.
Stuck up, to the eyeballs
In condescending lies pandering
To (un) popular beliefs;
Nothing like countering ‘prostitution
Narratives’ in the belly
Of the beast
I am a very tall poppy.
I am not so uneloquently on display
I am not a victim
I am not coerced
I am not a survivor
I am not damaged
I am not suffering any
More than anyone else
I don’t buy into
Negative, stereotypically ignorant
Profit driven victimisation
Either!
I choose to be the
Architect of my own life
Doing my bit,
Arousing your awareness
So that those who are
Tarred with the same brush
Can find support
Not rescue
It’s called autonomy.
Something I have more of than
Some, but you are not one
Tomorrow I’m going to wake up
Turn on my phone
Answer messages
Boil the jug & light up a dart,
Considering all my options
Before heading back in to sex work
It makes me stark raving
Mad, to think you could
Possibly be offended!
*
For what it’s worth,
I feel sorry for you
© Copyright 2016, Jodine Derena Butler. ‘Poetry Out West’, All Rights Reserved
Written in protest of the ‘World’s Oldest Oppression’ Conference in Melbourne, Victoria 2016
Artist Unknown
I want
the brutal facts,
negotiating
a purchase or two. slip –
ping up. two stairs
and the pain is
off the chartered
Rhicter scale.
sliding – skating
on your arse. in
dire need
of emergency. horrors
to come. no
good news is
bad news. stuffed up
plans. rendezvous’
post – poned before
you can even
walk the walk.
talking crutches
and neck
braces. on
your back shock
absorbing
shit. painfully
anticipating anecdotal
conundrums. the bite
of teeth
and Lilies. more
than you
can chew. I can
buggaring up
stowed away.
from warmth
and inner
thighs. doctors
and nurses
precisely un –
lucky. nearly losing
the plot as it
thickens. muscles flex
into verbal canes. an ex –
pected debacle of
ruined tension.
de – faulting
into chaos. she didn’t
want or need. your
birthday or
Christmas. travel
in one
breath. denied
children understand
sorry. the world
is still there
for you. home
with your first mate
and friends.
another mate
for life. love is
giving us what
we need
to heal. pretty
but it could be
much worse
for you
and her. your nut
shell cracked.
take all the time
you need.
your favorite whore
x
© Copyright 2015, Jodine Derena Butler & ‘Poetry Out West’. All Rights Reserved.
1.
Orion takes my breath away!
His belt & scabbard first
then shoulders
& I wrap myself around him
I am at peace
looking out over the ocean
& a sky full of stars
You are not unlike Orion
guiding distant ships on the horizon
I am like Klingon
(Klingon usually mate for life)
but not this tide
we are an interstellar medium:
the space between
Euryale & Poseidon
2.
We are of the Sea
reef, rocks & shoals
perilous waters
where foghorns & Siren songs sound familiar
where fishy tales flush pink
& my Veuve overflows
It doesn’t take me long to remember
expectation is one two threefold
we navigate in the dark sometimes
moonlit mirrors reflect only one part of the whole
our universe is bigger than most
3.
I draw a line in the sand
for both our sakes
there can be only one
I feel the waves crash on the shore
we are all arms & legs
slipping & sliding
in & out of the water
I look to the stars & my faith
for one brief moment there is no existential crisis
Orion’s heavy breathing & sigh of relief
bring us both back to reality
under the surface
Death is not an unknown entity:
one last roll of the di
& our fate could be sealed
4.
Thank you
Orion will always be near
Jupiter will always be the brightest planet
the full moon will always shine on me
I could never go past King Island
without thinking of you
candlelight, frogs & our best mate
Captain’s call still falling on deaf ears
but nevermind
I’m still as blind as a bat
& you’re as old as the hills
© Copyright 2015, Jodine Derena Butler. All Rights Reserved
REBLOGGED on Ink & Quill
there was that initial air about you.
the first time we met
you were looking through
steel-framed glasses
but not through me;
you were stealing glances.
I could see you
putting two & two together
you said you were single
although your eyes
were screaming NO!
wary at the thought
of yet another
indecent intrusion
into your most private after-life
& I gave you space
your camera rested on your heart
I recall it suspended –
another set of eyes
leaving lasting impressions
that only you could render
I lowered my dress, let it fall to the ground
& you captured me
my heart beating like a drum
I waited for you
when I was on tour
when I was laid up on my bed
abandoned, lonely in Thailand
I wondered what sort of a man you were then,
those glasses reflected memories like prisms;
living colour
lighting up my room
I see you now
those delightfully dirty
deep dark eyes of yours
smouldering desire,
my cheeks aflame
is all I can do – Crimson
you leave me breathless
& I am head over feet
I can feel you inside me
even before you reach out
& touch my face
kiss my lips, neck
trace your fingertips
over my aching body
to where you melt me
my musk saturating your senses
your bones ache.
it is with love that I push
& pull the fibers of your undoing
stretch your consciousness to new lengths
winding & rewinding thoughts: feelings
every muscle memory
like a ray of sunshine
bursting through & into me
old souls
but we are still children
playful, inquisitive, experimental
age plays between us
our laughter, infectious
we remember those unfettered feelings
like they were yesterday
fifteen going on forty
*
Maureen said the number 8
is symbolic & infinite
eight years between us
the two of us plus six children equals 8
the 26th of March, 2013 our anniversary, equals 8
I will lock the car four more times for you baby
because two 4’s make an eight
we will have 40 years together too my darling
I have known you a lifetime.
everything about you is familiar, safe
your eyes are open
& I just keep falling into you
I love you more now
than this morning
but not as much as tomorrow –
I can hear you smiling in recognition
we are truly blessed
I am very happy
you are everything I could ever hope for
& then some
when I see your face,
watch your eyes lower for that split second
before holding my gaze, grinning
I know with all my heart, that you were meant for me
© Copyright 2013, Jodine Derena Butler. All Rights Reserved
“Land Ahoy!”
his First Mate
not more than two feet away, still doesn’t see Hinemoana coming.
“Bring her about hard & fast
& shut your bloody mouth boy!”
after the full force
hits the stern with a swift kick
aimed right up the Jacksie!
she giggles
it’s an entertaining Port
full of surprises, guffaws
& sudden gusts of wind;
her Devil’s Tongue
quick as lightning
her Siren Song
slipping in & under
he lays it on thick
he would feed me grapes
if it weren’t for the Oyster’s
Swordfish, Tuna, Salmon & Lumpfish, a good bottle of Veuve serving up a concoction of frivolity with a sharp spank on the arse for good measure.
No sea legs required here.
Our naked flamboyance
barely creates a ripple,
our island paradise
looking out over the sea
from a safe distance –
your bridge.
I can see the stars up there
& planets
my world seems bigger
brighter
I stare transfixed into space
but I am not lost
I feel strangely nestled
Green Tree Frogs
& the hope of a Vine snake or two
keep my curiosity peaked
Michael rows
his boat ashore
I am not unlike an island
© Copyright 2013, Jodine Derena Butler. All Rights Reserved
REBLOGGED on Dream Big Dream Often
I am on the fringe
my destiny intertwined
money & lust
existence
paving a way for my future
I am loved
unconditionally.
he doesn’t presume
to try to control me
directly
indirectly I don’t know –
sometimes I feel bereft;
a single cell amoeba
searching
for another sign
of life
solitude
my friend & my enemy
co-exist;
uncertainty
at every new juncture
jeers in contempt
I am frozen in fear
for falling
& failing
humiliation burning
into my face
to spite me
ungracious
in pursuit of happiness
I take no prisoners
perhaps my journey
is my destination?
isolation & separation
inextricably linked,
pseudo relationships
taking precedence
lonely street’s
with or without corners
smoothing my transition
in the distance,
no picket fence to define me
or winter garden
or fire escape
I digress, sadly.
inner sanctum’s
flawed by design
serve only to mimic my life
contentment
knows no bounds
© Copyright 2012, Jodine Derena Butler. All Rights Reserved
Poetry Out West 