The best thing since sliced bread this partnership / relationship. Two whole slabs of canna-buttered magic, set the scene for an esoteric mind fuck that wrecks our bed, churns what the water gave us into fountains of esctasy. You’ve ruined me. Turned my counterparts into full beam, full steam ahead where I don’t want to hide. Hiccups where opposing forces try to fuck with our chi, set us back a step or two but we bounce, roll & resolve. Easy to give up — walk away, put grandiose expectations down to paranoid delusions of grandeur. Our past lives set us up to fail, prove that point we once knew without a shadow. Done with kowtow! Fire; vibrating nuclear fission fuels my frequency, propels inertia from the fulcrum, devouring adversity like a black hole creates nothing out of something. I make peace my lover, pray to my Godhead & surrender my self to you & only you. My happy bubble blessed by a big God blessed by a bigger Goddess, stirring up a pagan concoction that’s good enough for royalty. Good enough, is good enough! You are my equal. I will fight to the death to hold on to you, knowing I need to let go ride the lightening set the Phoenix alight into freedom before the day is done. You’re big, blue & beautiful my whole world right here, now centred in my universe Florence & the Machine creating an atmosphere for us to breathe.
…and I was starting to feel unencumbered until you came along, upping the anti with your sweet smile, ruining my bed, creating an arrhythmia of anomalies in my insulated penthouse.
…and I can see the headlights up ahead in the distance – high beams dip, then cut a trail through the darkness mimicking my lashes for you.
…and I think I’m ready? I think not, decide to ease back on the throttle; engine brake scream rebounding somewhere around midnight.
…and he says he’s not sure, but he wants to be King of the Mountain, the first to reach the top like Brock but without the fanfare.
…and his heart is in her hands. Headphones tapping out instructions driving himself around the bend while I wrestle with red eye and a juxtaposed stick/column shift.
…and we both get what we want. Safety nets and a pit crew who know the ropes better than any nightmare script or Greg Murphy wannabe.
…and all at once I become redundant. I can no longer see the warning signs and cats eyes through my windshield, except for tail lights.
…and you are leaving me behind. It’s time to open the windows and turn up Green Day and contemplate the waiting unknown. “Rage and love, the story of my life”.
Jack, steps back and waits, his head bowed in deference. A shudder circulates through his body and returns to his groin where his pathetic little worm jerks awake momentarily before it retreats, almost disappearing.
Domina, hazmat suit fitted, respirator adjusted and hands fully gloved, makes one final survey of her apartment noting everything in it’s rightful place before opening the door.
‘I see you followed my directions correctly, eventually’, she quipped.
‘Place your shoes in the bucket and strip’.
Her deadpan face and hardened stare conveying a don’t-fuck-with-me stance.
Domina’s new fetish was playing out like a Hunger Games episode: full lockdown, curfew and quarantine rules apply.
‘Follow me’, she commanded, leading the way to the bathroom.
‘Shower, put on the hazmat suit and mask and come into my den’.
Jack does as he is told, noticing the hairs on his arms and neck bristle and shrink back as the icy air-conditioning slaps his skin.
He’d been fantasizing about this day, ever since the first wave of Coronavirus (Corvid 19) swept across Europe, with Italy almost decimated in it’s wake.
It reminded him of his mortality, the beck and whim of governments and George Orwell’s 1984 dystopian nightmare coming into fruition. It made him feel alive, on the contrary, gave him a reason to live out his last days letting go of the old ways, going out on his terms.
Domina was a survivor. Gone were the days of luxurious 24 hour bookings, champagne and wads of cash. It was adapt or die slowly in her isolation, knowing her body wouldn’t be found for weeks.
These were the days of demeaning quickies and blow n’ go’s for a fraction of the price and the odd apocalypse fantasy that gave her just enough extra to remember how she once felt secure. Now, she controlled her working environment to suit and insisted on safety protocol.
Jack looked at himself in the mirror, putting on his mask. He was reduced to an anonymous automaton. Nameless, faceless and nothing more than a number in a system designed to suck every last drop of humanity from his wretched soul, if he even had one. A nobody. A pitiful excuse for a human being. He wanted to feel the humiliation of his meaningless existence played out one last excruciating time.
Domina watched her pain slut enter and ordered him to get on all fours on the bed. She picked up a 1 metre length of flexible plastic pipe and gave him six of the best in quick, hard succession.
/ / / / / /
Jack felt the weight of the whole world reign down. Searing pain shot through him and waves rippled along the length of his flacid cock awakening from it’s morbid slumber to stand at attention. It was all he could do to stop from crying out.
Jack knew he would fail, miserably and so did she.
I love the way you light up a room with your presence and my heart.
I love the way you joyously cook for me and our friends; laughter combusting into spontaneous abundance.
I love the way you laugh and giggle and play the fool, running around the room screaming like a freaking fruit, with Snoop.
I love that you do your best with everything and everyone, everytime.
I love that your heart only wants to do good and focus on the future.
I love how you think positively about all of our obstacles and we work together to solve them.
I love your resilience and strength of character, even when times get tough – you find a way.
I love the way your face lights up when you plan a party, design a flyer and work the promo.
I love the way you DJ – making me and everybody dance, with huge smiles on our dials.
I love to see you in your costumes and watch you come alive.
I love seeing the happiness on your face when you achieve the almost impossible, frequently.
I love watching your facial expressions and that passionate rocking and rolling you do on your chair, punching your hands in the air, to your favourite songs.
I love the way you make me feel, holding my hand and casually putting your arm around me, no matter where we are.
I love how you give me a wake-me-up-call most mornings, and I feel your desire pressing against me.
I love the way you slip, and fall between my legs with that naughty, cheeky giggle.
I love the way you whisper in my ear and tell me I’m sexy and beautiful and how much you want me.
I love it when you kiss me for no reason.
I love your sexy swagger and smouldering eyes.
I love the way you make me Chai in the mornings, and/or a cigarette and we slowly wake up together.
I love watching you shine.
*
On any given day, you give yourself to me in all your authenticity, with love.
You are the most awesome, amazing, talented, sexy, loveable man I have ever had the pleasure to meet and call mine.
I dont know how long I’ve got you for, but the romantic in me hope’s you put a hippie ring on it and we mooch on into the future, forever.
“I think we’ve been put through the emotional wringer and there are only fraying threads left of the tapestry we once sewed together” JD Butler
Just like me to need a pacifier when the going gets tough but
it’s not all about me.
You’ve changed – maybe we’ve both changed, but not for the better. You used to care if I cried but
not any more.
I guess you’re strung out, over-worked, under-paid, under-sexed and looking for a way out in your Red Dead Redemption II,
outback adventure.
Maybe you also feel trapped? What if I left, left the house for you to rent? I can go anywhere to live
and start again.
Sydney, Melbourne, Perth perhaps. 6 months here, 6 months there (in New Zealand). Reinventing myself
is what I’m good at.
Jezabel is never too far away for me to find a way to survive. She never leaves me or changes. I can count on her
to do the right thing.
I’ll miss you. Everything about you. How wonderfully beautiful you are with your deep dark brown eyes. You are talented, loving and rich beyond anything resembling money.
I consider
myself blessed.
It’s time I moved on. I’ve reached a point where I don’t think we can offer each other the best part of ourselves any more. I think I hold you back from your true potential.
I think you resent not seeing your friends as often as you would like – cultivate those
friendships and opportunities.
I think you would feel better with money in your own pocket. I want to see you happier, less frustrated,
less aloof and less distracted.
When I met you, you were larger than life, full of happiness, generosity, love. You were loyal to me.
I think we’ve been put through the emotional wringer and there are only fraying threads left of the tapestry
we once sewed together.
I’m distressed. I’m trying to preserve the last of my sanity in order, to survive.
I’m concerned. I want to give you as much as I can for you to feel secure. You’ve worked hard and
I have no intention of ruining you.
I’m not like my ex because I love you – he never did.
I don’t want to see you cry, or curl up and die inside,
A heart-throbbing beat to a rhythm only Demeter knows, her secrets etched into her bones. Intricate carvings honed into marrow, and stem cells multiply like a plague of disgruntled wasps.
Anger.
That sudden rush of indignation, followed by a concoction of vengeance and vindication – abdication and a refusal to surrender. Hades infiltrates Persephone, her abduction an embodiment of everything war, consumed in his indifference.
People.
All that is love and all that is hate, two halves of the same coin and no one escapes joy, ecstasy, grief and pain. You can run but you can’t hide – everyone has to pay Charon to get into the after life.
Temperance.
Biting tongues, letting go, being the better person, swallowing those hard lumps and walking away relatively unscathed by comparison. There will always be someone who offends and someone who is offended. Which came first?
Balance.
Good and bad, black and white, up and down, left or right. Choices and free will all come at a cost. Pros and cons, rights and wrongs; there is only compromise, but that middle ground remains as grey as the ghost it inhabits. A visceral, haunting entity.
Atonement.
As elusive as the Holy Grail, hidden inside Pandoras Box in a chapel somewhere in Africa. Peace is not what Hades is about, his warmongering lust for grandiose self-entitlement takes no prisoners. Still, Zeus brokered a deal for his part in Demeters wrath and Persephones demise.
Death
and rebirth – the Fates will have their way and so the cycle continues.