Grief is pouring out of me
unexpectedly violent, suddenly indecent
assault tempts me to die, stealing whatever else you left behind
my soul, violated
shredded skin, giving away my heart for safety
killing her off slowly
and I can’t bear it any longer – this pain
consumes me, squeezing every last breath I take
to want nondescript now; everything I had left with you
totally and utterly forlorn, I am bereft of any life, when you said
you loved me – that was an evil lie
there is no faith left in my world when I think of you
I am foetal, cradled in my own embryonic arms
closing bloodshot eyes
for darkness to caress my fetid skin, sinking in
lost; longing for you in vain, my grief is pouring out of me
and it won’t stop – I can’t make you stop
broken, and excrutiating to remember
you abandoned me, destroying everything I thought I meant to you
and the salt, knowing you’re laughing – telling how you want torture
before dismembering my body for a barrel
some days the grief is so bad I want to die, check
my self in to the nearest vein before I slice my way in – till I can’t feel you anymore
and watch my self disappear.
© Copyright 2016, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
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Yes. Its been a very painful time. My heart has been broken
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Much sadness in your poems.
Oscar
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Thank you Ana. I write to heal and have done since my twenties 🙂
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This is beautiful painful , I can related !
You are wonderful writer 👍
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It hurts to know you feel like that. Betrayal is the worse heartbreaking act anyone can suffer. I can relate to your pain now. I know, it feels like a corkscrew to your heart. I like the way you express the killing pain and deception when deceived. I can easily relate to it when you say “destroying everything I thought I meant to you”
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Heartbreak like I’ve never felt before. Betrayal killed parts of me I never knew existed
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The pain cannot be expressed any better, And still it is so beautiful… since true emotions, even the pain and sorrow, have beauty themselves when someone else can relate to them with stirring feelings.
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I can relate
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You know it was real when the pain is unbearable. I was in love with a lie though…
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Painful beautiful
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Yes. A lot…
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Oh dear, there is a lot of pain in that poetry.
Hope you are having a nice week.
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