preparing for the long rest.
of people, places, sights and sounds.
an abyss-like-nightmare that wants to kill me and I battle for my life.
strangles me to within an inch of my suffocated existence.
except for the machine head that analyses and deciphers psychic projections.
the worst my mind can conjure, always on the lookout for my nemesis.
attacks that leave me exhausted, foolish, irrational, exposed and defeated.
overflowing – pushing people away, proving that point I once knew.
compulsion’s that envelop me like a synthesized loop; engulfed, and left devoid of all feeling.
battles to right wrongs, that fail appallingly.
refusing to put myself at risk, unfortunately I still need to eat.
burdens I endure for both of us.
just to make it stop!
is all of this and more.
leaves a lifelong scar.
© Copyright 2018, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved