I’m afraid to let you in
open myself up in case I make another mistake
his hands around my throat
turning my vulnerability into high voltage more powerful than I
harming me more than my imaginations interrogate
the fusion of vocal chords
when you say beautiful amazing things to me; I don’t know where to look
self doubt bonded to grey matter
on fire, using myself against myself, feeling violated – crazy
wondering recognition, unseeing myself in you
your soulful eyes a lighthouse or warning?
my turbulent wake adjusting. I think I’m fucked up
fear, or is it?
You are so beautiful
© Copyright 2017, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved