Artist: Unknown
You build a picture of me
outside the elongated square
peg shaped box
I find myself circling.
Each single step
widens following
two side steps lengthening
nearly five decades deep —
before I’m back in the shit
standing in front of the same scale
stained window or solid oak door
or Samsung S4.
My self imposed barricade
chain and key close
to my heart keep-safe
trusting no one
except a chain gang
of miscreants and misfits
mulling over life, just right.
Subliminal messages
only those in the know can
decipher; wisdom in code, words
biting off more than we can chew
at times, like these.
You help build a picture of me
outside the elongated square
peg shaped box
I find myself picking apart
with my fingernails, prying
into cracks like an
unsuspecting little upstart
who has everything and nothing.
We are social creatures
by nature, nurture featuring ways
to stray outside our four walls
where I space out
dependent distance, my avoidance
keeps my heart still beating.
Any attempt to heal is an affront
my demons wreck havoc,
threaten to cut me off at the knee’s
if I don’t conform or dance
to the pipers tune. My malady
freaks the hell out of everyone.
Torture held captive.
You are a picture of my self
outside my elongated square
peg shape box, my reason
to die respectfully
circumnavigating
ways through and around,
bashing my head up
against invisible walls
that thwart my existence
here, questions unanswered
philosophical paradoxical paradigm s;
the meaning of life and death.
I want to go home,
listen to the ebb and flow
of waves, seagulls and the sound
of sand crunching between my toes
and decide to live.
© Copyright 2016, Jodine Derena Butler & ‘Poetry Out West’. All Rights Reserved