Last night was a true clusterfuck.
This morning, she’s thinking about taking a class
Act
Flashbacks of a child making desperate promises she can’t keep
Pray
She learned there was no one who really cared
Naked
A victim of conditioned responses or lack thereof killing Heidi off
Halo
Inextricably separate, forever grieving the loss of her
Forgiveness
When all it takes is to swallow it down whole and roll
Die
Did Heidi know how much it hurt?
© Copyright 2019, Jodine Derena Butler & Poetry Out West. All Rights Reserved
Poetry Out West 
It was hard to click ‘like’ on this, but not because it wasn’t any good. On the contrary, it’s very well-written, and it cuts to the quick of my soul (as melodramatic as that may sound). It’s so hard to escape these feelings and thoughts, because surely that’s what I want to do, but these have come out of very real and traumatic events and situations that irrevocably leave their scars. Why does it always feel as fresh as the day it first happened? That’s what really rocks me.
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These days, I am mostly alright, at peace and happy but something will trigger me back to those dark days. Sometimes I don’t know what it is exactly, but the feelings and images are always the same
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Thank god there’s always an end to such feelings and images. Sure, they come back, but like a storm they can’t possibly last. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. I hope you’re being kind to yourself throughout all of this, Jo.
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Meh, it’s difficult. I’m attention seeking and acting out, followed by deep feelings of being in crisis. I wrote another, darker poem unfortunately
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I think you’ve just described me too. It’s okay to not be okay. It doesn’t change who you are, and I think you’re pretty awesome.
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Thank you beautiful x
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