Image used with permission
You’re a ‘loopy slut whore’
he says, breaking down the door
standing over me
pinning me to the bed
rage spitting in my face
threatening
He wants the car
He wants the bike
He wants the business
He wants a wage
He wants to expose & hurt me
He wants the house too I bet
I paid all his debts
I paid all the deposits
I paid all his tax
I paid his lawyers
I paid for clothing, books, food
I paid the bills
I lose my home
I lose my marriage
I lose my family
I lose Goodwill
I set him up in business
I set myself up in every way
I wasn’t enough
Such a fool for love
trusting again & I lose
more than a small fortune this time
last straws coming
sooner than expected
love & generosity presumed unkind
blinded by the tree’s
Neither of us can stand to see
our littlest princess slipping away
traumatized, lost
defiance just the tip of the iceberg
anger is palpable
& justified
God I love her so much!
BUT
I can no longer bear witness
I can no longer bear the brunt
projected anger & disgust
my own psyche laid bare unprotected
I am not yours, his or her scapegoat
you all need to find your own way
I’ve done my best; my best
can no longer survive
this battle
It is a battleground
anger exploding like a grenade
no one is safe
of course its my fault
I brought it on myself, jumping the gun
what’s one more act of defiance?
I’m used to it – the ones closest
the cruelest people on earth
I don’t play bluff
I don’t care anymore
it’s not my problem
not my circus
& definitely not my monkeys
Thank you for everything
it all makes sense to me now
you needed me
you all needed me
you don’t need your little slut whore anymore
we are all loopy slut whores anyway
You have everyone & everything
Good bye & good luck
© Copyright 2015, Jodine Derena Butler. All Rights Reserved
I am now the owner of this beautiful piece of art. One of two. Jx
Well that quickly turn from amazement to inspiring
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you like it! It’s a raw piece of writing but one I’ve hardly had to edit…yet! I’m always revisiting my writing and seeing new things. I write in layers. Jx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Seriously you are talented.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 😌
LikeLike
Hardboiled poem full of truth and pain. De todo se sale. Pura vida!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, I watched a movie and it reminded me of a time I went through long ago with a former partner. The content is not in real time. My poetry is raw, then I edit. We are going through such a difficult but potentially healing time for all of us. My husband is a besutiful, loving father and husband. He’s very strong mentally and emotionally. I am a natural red head, so I have my own fire. We temper each other quite nicely. Jx
LikeLike
I’ve been through one as well. They are extremely difficult. Sending positive thoughts for a positive journey. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, same but i am remarried now. Funny but me and my ex are good friends now. We just couldn’t be together for a number of reasons. Jx
LikeLike
whoa, dig this with all my heart;)
LikeLike
Thank you. When I’m pissed off, my red head turns up the heat lol. It’s all good. Jx
LikeLike